Wedding Playlist & Realizations

I'm putting together my wedding playlist, and realized that Allen and I don't have similar music taste... like at all. 

I don't have a favorite song, but among my favorite are a blend of artists that sing soft, sweet songs. I love the upbeat songs as well, but they just don't seem to touch my heart in the way that my favorites do. And Allen? Well, he loves the upbeat stuff. 

Music is an extremely important part of my life, and the fact that I don't share musical interests with a lot of my friends, or even my future husband, makes me sad. 

So as I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself as I look through my music, I found this song:

Did it make me cry? Yes, it did. 

And it made me realize something.



I used to find myself overwhelmed by sadness. I'd hide in my room and cry and cry all day, and I couldn't quite pinpoint why. My world was ending while the sun shined around me, and I didn't know how to stop it. It happened frequently, and while I think I seemed to be a pretty stable person to all of those around me, I was really on the brink of crumbling at any second. A lot of people don't believe in depression, but I can say first hand that it's a real thing. No matter where I ran, the sadness was always hiding around the corner to catch me. 



I can't recall having one of these days since I met my prince charming. 


Shared musical interests or not, he loves me for me, and I love him too.

Things that are of the Devil.

1 - Pap Smears
2 - Calories
3 - Squats
4 - Pamphlets regarding the reproductive system.

My day consisted of far too many of all of the above for my comfort.

On the other hand, today was also rather eventful in good ways as well. 

1 - The OB/GYN's Scale told me that I was 143.2 lbs. I think that's quite the accomplishment from the 160 + that I was in high school. And it's still going down! 

2 - Zumba : Hot Hula. Aside from the fact that this class is buckets of fun on it's own, The Hula instructor told me I was really good at moving my hips. Awkward Toni is good at moving her hips. SCORE!

3 - We planned our wedding luncheon in a matter of 5 minutes. The reception is clocking in at 3 months so far, so it's an impressive feat. 

4 - I'm registered for school through fall, and so is the cute fiance! 

5 - I GOT A NEW JOB! :D Paid Training starts on Monday. I couldn't be more excited.

6 - My (tuscany gardens) boss sent an auto-text to me saying "I'm in a meeting with a bride, I'll call you as soon as it's done. I love you!"

It's always a bit awkward when your boss declares his love for you, but it makes for a good laugh when you realize the text was meant for his wife.

7 - After months of talking to representatives at turbo tax and H & R Block, and never being able to contact the IRS, I FINALLY got my taxes done. Thank goodness for helpful ex-boyfriends. 

Cedar City Is Getting a Temple, AND a Toni!

Excuse the crappy phone picture with a couple random people in the bottom.

This is the Salt Lake Temple, and I'm getting married to my handsome fiance there in just over 2 months. I couldn't be more excited, or stressed! 

I was a bit late in getting to listen to the Saturday session of conference this last weekend, and much like the text that I got from Allen in October telling me about the missionary age announcement (when I was working instead of watching conference), I got a text telling me that Cedar City was getting it's own temple. I happen to think that this is pretty darn exciting news due to the fact that, (Drum roll, please) 

We're moving to Cedar City! 

So we're going to have a temple right there in our own little city!

The church is true, brothers and sisters, the church is true.

love & gas

Sometimes he's super cute and cuddly,
and other times he's super gassy.
Sometimes I want to smother him in kisses, 
and other times I want to kick him in the shin. 

But every single moment of every single day, I love him.

This is real love like I've never experienced before, and I couldn't be happier.
I love him, and I can't wait to spend the rest of eternity with him.