the quotes

You'll often find me writing down the odd things that people say. Here's a list of some that have been featured on my blog previously. I got a nice giggle out of them.

"I was lost in the Celestial Kingdom of flavor... Ha! I just made a Mormon joke!"


"I don't have rugged good looks, I just have regular good looks."


"We wont be a tricycle. We'll be three unicycles weaving in and out of eachother and we'll be legit."


"You can't even comprehend how much I want to make love to your socks."


"I hope you don't have any cats. I could totally see her killing a cat."


"I converted. I wasn't a mormon and now I am. And look at me! I still fart!"


"If you're going to dye my dog, you can't do it blue. She's a girl dog. She has to be pink."


"It's called love!" "No, it's called saliva."


"Hey, do you want to go on a date with me? We can read childrens books and bottle fruit!"

"What are you doing?" "Trying to hold your hand." "Oh.. I see. How about a hug?"


"I can't do that. I don't want to be the crazy guy knocking on porta-potties."

"Mom, I'm going to see a movie." "Okay, are you sneaking out?" "Yes." "Okay, love you!"

"Is my bouncy ball really in the trash? Wow. Real Mature."


"I think I'm in love." "Yeah, but does he know your name?" "Of course he does. He's best friends with my dog." "Oh, okay. Makes sense."

"There is popcorn on my apricot tree."

"I had a blue zebra once. It was tied to a tree."

"Hey Toni! I got smacked in the ball with a knee! Wait... I mean..."

"How are you feeling?" "Fly. Like a G6."


"Sorry, I'm peeing. What's up?"

"When you walk into the kitchen and the drawers are open, do you close them or pelvic thrust them?"

"I'm only hugging you cause we're in public." "I hate you." "I hate you too."

"Girl pants have strange sizes. 9/10? Are they in fractions to make the girls feel skinnier?"