Apparently I'm a Part-Time Bird-Herder

I currently have two jobs that I absolutely love. I work at a flower shop and a wedding center for two different people with the same name as me. 

When I got to work today (the wedding place, not the flower shop), I followed Tony into the building.

"THERE'S A BIRD IN HERE!" he exclaimed. 

Let's be honest, I thought he was crazy. I didn't see a bird. 

"There it goes!" He pointed at nothing. 

"Now it's over there!"

I didn't see the dang bird, so I headed down to the bathroom to change into my cleaning clothes. I was halfway out of my pants when he yelled in a panic voice "Toni! Come here! Quick! I found it again!" I did an awkward hop-back-into-my-pants-run as I dashed out of the bathroom and up the stairs. 

Tony was pointing at the ceiling again where I soon spotted the bird flying next to the ceiling fans. So he WASN'T crazy. My mind suddenly filled with a vision of the bird hitting the ceiling fan and splattering everywhere. How morbid. I asked him if we could turn the fans off. He didn't know how.

We opened the door and tried to herd the stupid bird out into the wild. No dice. Instead, it promptly flew right into Tony's office and judging by Tony's loud yells of "Eww! He pooped on my desk!" got revenge on us for scaring him. I held back giggles as I waited for him to chase our new friend back down to me and hopefully not headfirst into one of the rapidly spinning ceiling fans. 

"Here it comes!" I watched the bird fly across the ceiling and settle on one of the rafters. I charged, trying to herd him towards the balcony. 

Soon after, it spotted the blue sky peeking through the open door. It made a run for it. We held our breath as he gracefully swooped towards the sunlight before hitting the solid window with a loud "Smack!"

"No, bird! That's not it! There's a door RIGHT THERE. See? Yeah? Keep going!"

BAM!! It ran into another one. This dang bird was going to knock itself unconscious! And I hadn't even cleaned any of the windows yet! Can you imagine what kind of trouble we would have been in had I already used windex to give the windows that commercialized streak free shine? 

And then, my new friend did the unthinkable. He pooped on my fresh linens. WHAT KIND OF FRIEND POOPS ON YOUR TABLECLOTH!? 

Somehow, he finally figured out that the door led him outside. We cheered. We high-fived, we broke out the sparkling cider and made a toast to people everywhere that have ever been pooped on by a bird. (Just kidding)

I spent the rest of the day cleaning up after the bird and the 200 guests from the night before. 

At some point before I left, Tony mentioned that he'd gotten a call from police the night before regarding the motion alarms in the building being set off. They had thought that someone had broken in. Nope. Just our little criminal birdy friend. He's now on the run from the Ogden city police. 

At least he didn't get chopped up by the ceiling fan.

and here is a completely unrelated picture of a cake