My apologies to the English teachers.

It's 1:42 in the morning, and I'm quite stumped on the paper I'm supposed to be writing. It's not due until Friday, but this is the time that I have allotted for it, and I need to do some hefty revising before I turn it in. 

My philosophy teacher wants me to write an essay where the thesis statement is in the following format: "I am going to argue in the following paper that (insert philosopher) is correct/mistaken in _______." Is that sending shivers up your spine as well? I'm sure I still have a handout somewhere where that is a clear example of what NOT to do.

I'm nowhere near perfect when it comes to the English language, but I feel as if I'm failing all of my former English teachers as I write this paper. These things are drilled into our heads throughout our time in Junior High and High School. "I think" should not be in a paper like this! It just shouldn't happen! Ever! 

I I I I I. He wants our paper to be chock full of them. I'm going to cry. Big, huge, crocodile tears for all of the English teachers that I've let down. My thesis statement will not make it to the final draft in that format. Even if I get docked points for it, it just wont happen. 


Now, if any of you want to do any editing and revising for me, I would love you forever and maybe bake you a treat. The paper should be finished by tomorrow for you to mark with your red pen!