Apparently I'm a Part-Time Bird-Herder

I currently have two jobs that I absolutely love. I work at a flower shop and a wedding center for two different people with the same name as me. 

When I got to work today (the wedding place, not the flower shop), I followed Tony into the building.

"THERE'S A BIRD IN HERE!" he exclaimed. 

Let's be honest, I thought he was crazy. I didn't see a bird. 

"There it goes!" He pointed at nothing. 

"Now it's over there!"

I didn't see the dang bird, so I headed down to the bathroom to change into my cleaning clothes. I was halfway out of my pants when he yelled in a panic voice "Toni! Come here! Quick! I found it again!" I did an awkward hop-back-into-my-pants-run as I dashed out of the bathroom and up the stairs. 

Tony was pointing at the ceiling again where I soon spotted the bird flying next to the ceiling fans. So he WASN'T crazy. My mind suddenly filled with a vision of the bird hitting the ceiling fan and splattering everywhere. How morbid. I asked him if we could turn the fans off. He didn't know how.

We opened the door and tried to herd the stupid bird out into the wild. No dice. Instead, it promptly flew right into Tony's office and judging by Tony's loud yells of "Eww! He pooped on my desk!" got revenge on us for scaring him. I held back giggles as I waited for him to chase our new friend back down to me and hopefully not headfirst into one of the rapidly spinning ceiling fans. 

"Here it comes!" I watched the bird fly across the ceiling and settle on one of the rafters. I charged, trying to herd him towards the balcony. 

Soon after, it spotted the blue sky peeking through the open door. It made a run for it. We held our breath as he gracefully swooped towards the sunlight before hitting the solid window with a loud "Smack!"

"No, bird! That's not it! There's a door RIGHT THERE. See? Yeah? Keep going!"

BAM!! It ran into another one. This dang bird was going to knock itself unconscious! And I hadn't even cleaned any of the windows yet! Can you imagine what kind of trouble we would have been in had I already used windex to give the windows that commercialized streak free shine? 

And then, my new friend did the unthinkable. He pooped on my fresh linens. WHAT KIND OF FRIEND POOPS ON YOUR TABLECLOTH!? 

Somehow, he finally figured out that the door led him outside. We cheered. We high-fived, we broke out the sparkling cider and made a toast to people everywhere that have ever been pooped on by a bird. (Just kidding)

I spent the rest of the day cleaning up after the bird and the 200 guests from the night before. 

At some point before I left, Tony mentioned that he'd gotten a call from police the night before regarding the motion alarms in the building being set off. They had thought that someone had broken in. Nope. Just our little criminal birdy friend. He's now on the run from the Ogden city police. 

At least he didn't get chopped up by the ceiling fan.

and here is a completely unrelated picture of a cake

Win a date with Sam!

Meet Sam.

She's a hottie. 

We met clear back in Jr. High, when she used to follow me home from school like a puppy. (As I'm typing this, she mentioned that she followed EVERYONE home from school like a puppy.) 

Now we're all grown up and going to college and still super good friends. She doesn't follow me like a puppy anymore though. 

She likes to sing and she likes shoes. 

She also likes to steal my candy, play piano, and give back scratches. 

As you can see from the pictures, she has gorgeous blue eyes. 

AND SHE'S SINGLE!

CALLING ALL POTENTIAL SUITORS:

Please send your resumes along with a short paragraph describing you in order to have the chance to ask this lovely young lady on a date!

Requirements are :

Males only

Must be between the ages of 18 and 28

Single

Responsible and Independent

Must be able to type 40 wpm

Sense of Humor

MUST LOVE TO CUDDLE

(Sam is VERY cuddly. She even tries to cuddle with ME sometimes...)

Must be headed for a temple marriage

(And Toni thinks that you should at least have blue eyes somewhere in your family line, cause it would be so sad for her hypothetical children to lose out on their chance of having gorgeous blue eyes like Sam.)

Peach Days

From left to right: Me, Sam Gosset. Shea Metcalf, Allen Miller, Shane Heinze

Peach days is lacking when it comes to actual peaches. Did I see any? Yes, in fact. About twelve of them.

But when I get to hang out with these strapping young lads (and Sam), I'm A-Okay with that. 

Here's to peachless pre-birthday celebrations with awesome friends. 

Also, Peach cobbler is among my favorite things in life. 

The Chore Chart

After a rather long day of school, I walked into the house and threw my stuff on the ground. I soon discovered that my mother had left an entire college ruled sheet of paper of chores for me. I'm not talking a simple list here either. She had this thing divided into days and times too. This whole paper was covered with rows and columns galore.

I groaned. This weekend was SUPPOSED to be my birthday weekend.. And she decided to ditch town and leave me with a list of chores a mile long? How rude. 

I felt like Cinderella. 

Then I took a closer look at the chore list. 

It was filled with chores like 

- Kiss the dog

- Turn the air conditioner on so you don't roast

- Feed dog

- Feed cat

- Kiss the dog again. 

- Give loves to both pets

- You have to love BOTH pets - If the cat hates you, she will pee on your stuff

- Eat the leftovers

- Have a Happy Birthday

- Do a Birthday Dance

- Remember that I love you!

- Kiss the dog

I love my mom. 

Jazzy is a Model

My dear friend Sam didn't realize that when she bought herself a DSLR camera that she was actually providing my form of entertainment for when we are "hanging out" (a.k.a. spending time together while she does homework) 

As Sam was working on her homework, my dog and I came to this conclusion: The dog is going to become a professional model. 

Go ahead and tell me how she isn't fit for the job. 

She even has the attitude for the job.

The end. 

heck to the yeah

This is how much I owe for college this semester. 

I'm so incredibly happy about this right now. I can't even begin to explain the joy I'm feeling at this very moment. 

ZERO! 

accidental exercise

So, there I was, just minding my own business. I was enduring the rather long drive back from school and wishing, once again, for it to be cold enough outside that I could roll my windows up. 

I saw a sticker for some sort of marathon and thought to myself, "I should go to the gym tonight." Then I remembered that the gym was a rather long drive, and I still needed to put some gasoline in Izzy. She was getting low in the "Oh, I'll probably need to fill her up in the next few days" kind of way, not the "HOLY GUACAMOLE I'M GONNA HAVE TO PUSH THIS THING TO THE GAS STATION" kind of way. You know the difference, right?

So then I thought to myself, "Well maybe I'll go on a quick run around the neighborhood!" 

After I talked myself out of that one, I started thinking that maybe a little walk would be good for me. 

It was an hour long drive. I had plenty of time to talk myself out of that little walk to. 

Lazy is as lazy does!

As I was driving down the last stretch of road before my street, my car suddenly lost power and ran out of gas. I pulled over as far as I could and turned on my flashers. I tried turning it back on and got it just into a credit union parking lot before it died again. 

Some sweet lady offered me a ride home, but I said no thanks, and that I'd call my mom. 

5 days shy of turning 20 and I still call my mommy. 

She didn't answer, so I grabbed my laptop, locked the doors, and started heading towards home. 

Halfway there, my phone rings. It's my buddy Allen. 

"You home from school yet?"
"No, sir."
"Are you still in Salt Lake?"

"Not anymore!"

"Oh, so where are you?"

I told him my whereabouts.

"So you're driving home right now?"
"Well... I WAS driving home. Now I'm walking."

"You ran out of gas, didn't you?"

"Sure did!"

So.. Moral of the story? Don't wait til your gas light goes on if your car has issues like mine does. AND.. If you're thinking about getting exercise, don't talk yourself out of it. It'll end up happening one way or another.